reflections of art on her life.

Words of Wisdom from Denise Clarke

2005-05-28T12:37:00.000-06:00

o Do you find that Calgary is different from other cities in regards to its support of the arts community and specifically the theatre community?

It seems particularly vibrant within the community of artists at the moment. We can get our audiences out and I see art openings that are packed too. It is an unusually affluent time and place to be making art and sometimes I am surprised that there isn't more financial support from the funding bodies which would kick the work being done into another level. I think that the free enterprise model is a good one for purely competitive business but artistic enterprise is not by nature competitive and flourishes better with some start up funds and infra-structural bonuses.

o When you are taking on the role of a character with whom you can specifically identify do you have hesitation about performing the piece to the public?

I am utterly unafraid of bringing anything that I work on to the public. I do any nervous examination of the role well before I ever accept it and so am always eager to do what I am doing.

o Where do you get your inspiration?

Everywhere with all creatures, human or otherwise, all the time doing everything that can be done. The world and my existence are my inspirations. How's that for lofty response?

Excerpt from the Daniel Dugas interview

2005-05-28T12:18:00.000-06:00

From a lecture at the University of Lethbridge:

So what is it that I do?
What excites me?
What makes me angry?
What makes me tick and go on as an artist?
I am interested in everything but maybe the word everything is too big.
In 1990, I was finishing a residency at the Banff Center and I thought that maybe I could find some work and stay in the area.
I went downtown to a construction site. I made sure that I was wearing my steel-toed boots.
I asked to speak with the foreman.
He came walking over,
and I remember that he did not look too happy that day,
or maybe he was just a crabby kind of guy.
Anyway he said: “What do you want”?
I answered, “I am looking for work.”
He asked me what I could do, and I said, “Everything”.
He looked at me in Total Disgust and said: “Nobody can do everything, ” and he walked away.
I was left standing in this huge hole of mud, kind of stunned.
Maybe instead of saying ‘everything,’ I could have said ‘many things,’ and I could have added that I like to learn.

The thing is that I am interested in many things.
I am interested in construction,
how things are built,
how people work together to put something up.
I am curious about TAYLORISM: The Principles of Scientific Management.
I am interested in knowing why the foreman looked so angry when he said that nobody does everything.
And, as I don’t know what building they were constructing, I am still curious to know if they put brick or stucco on the façade.

I am also interested in poetry
In the idea of going on a sailboat
In insects - and especially the ants
In patterns on wallpaper
In barcodes
In extended memory
In Martha Stewart and bad financial advice
In woodworking and the history of glue
In walking long enough to forget where I am going

In TCP IP CBC DV NTSC ASCII HTML GPS XML URL
In Black Boxes which are really orange
In Time to Live
In Smileys:
Ta Ta For Now
Smile
Smile with a large nose
Laughing hard
Screaming
Drooling
Ill with the flu

I am interested in Open source codes and distribution
In wikis
In people having a chance to write
In blogs
The story of our world
In inventing meanings

I am interested in cryptography
In the Morse code
In algorithms of all sorts
In the frequency of letters in texts
In the absence of the letter E in the novel A Void

I am interested in loops
In dead ends
In spam
In people working madly to distribute that shit
In people working madly to dodge it
In indexes,
And all of the things that are left un-indexed
And all of those that will never make the cut

I am interested in fungus and rot
In weird and beautiful mushrooms that grow in the dark woods

In information explosion
In logic and in Pascal,
who said a long time ago that the heart has its reasons, which reason does not know
In Ludwig Wittgenstein, who said that our difficulty is, that we keep speaking of simple objects, and are unable to mention a single one

I am interested in questioning the digital divide
In crossing bridges
In finding common grounds
In trying to breathe

I am interested in the black BMW’s
In the shiny Mercedes
In groups like Earth on Empty
Artists in Action

In wealth
In the Theatre of the Oppressed and Augusto Boal
In Saul Alinsky and Community Organizing
In the words of Winston Churchill, who said that
Money is like a sixth sense, essential for the complete use of the five others.

In stock markets
In crashes
In rise of opportunities
In bad luck
In the absence of luck
In Boom or bust economies
In Power
In mechanisms of exchange
In high tech and in low tech things of all kind

I am interested in parsing text files
In Apple C
Apple X
Apple V
Esc
Esc
Option
command
F
O

In apples with worms
In the names that are given to computer viruses
Like Clone War 547
C Magic
COCO2099
Crazypunk.500
Dark_Revenge.1024
DarkApocalypse
Tiny.family

Or the names that are given to racehorses
Like Exaggerate This
Or Trick Again
Or Sightseek who won $630.000 so far this year

I am interested in databases
In electrical diagrams
In the taste of wine
In Pong
In ping pong

I am fascinated with weather,
hurricanes in particular -
I am interested in models of analysis
And in seeing how they can be used in an art context
I am interested in the names that are given to future storms
Arlene
Bret
Cindy
Dennis
Emily
Franklin
Gert
Harvey
Irene
Jose
Katrina
Lee
Maria
Nate
Ophelia
Philippe
Rita
Stan
Tammy
Vince
Wilma
Those are the storm names for 2005

The most intense hurricane to have hit the mainland United States remained unnamed.
It was in 1935 and was a category 5
With a Minimum Pressure of 892 mb

I am concerned about the repercussion of things
What happens when something is done?
What are the consequences of all actions?

I am interested in the politics of everything
The marketing of the politics
The reduction of the marketing
Newspapers
The online editions of the newspapers
The top stories
The breaking news
The exclusive interviews
The talk shows
I am interested in the wit of the guests
The waste of time
The length of life
The shadows of puppets on the walls
Brightly lit by pepper kits
Sold in advance
Sold out to the crowd
I am amazed that Oprah is on the cover of her magazine every month
I read that Oprah is the leading source for information about life and love

I am interested in pocket PCs
In the culture of pick pocket pcs
In the point and click
In the click and disappear
In the cyclical nature of fashion
In Simple Text Messages
In Thoreau talking about the telegraph
In how loud people talk on their cell phones on the buses
On the complexity of the discussions
And how others are trapped inside this dialog
Delicate choices have to be made between broccoli and asparagus
Between Bits & Bites and Vegetable Thins
All during the ride home on the train.

I am puzzled on why there is a 1-800 number on every box and every bag.
I have never bookmarked anything of Kraft, Pepsi or GM on my browser.

I like to look in the dictionaries
And bounce from one word to another
From one image to another
I believe that the world can be explain through anecdotes

Daniel Dugas © 2004

In Klezskavania

2005-05-28T12:15:00.000-06:00

The One Yellow Rabbit Ensemble and the Big Secret Theatre offer a unique involving performance of a soon to be cult classic. I’ll have to say that the initial attraction to the show was the obscure tag line “Gothic Gypsy Rock Opera. “ I mean, that something you don’t see every day. The poster for the performance was clever and abundantly dispersed in the Epcor Centre, they were hard to miss and even harder to forget, and best of all they set the initial, accurate mood for the performance.

The Big Secret Theatre is different from many, and most, theatre venues. The preliminary idea is one of a dungeon, dark, creepy, slightly glamorous in a dirty manner. The staff were edgy enough to accompany the mood, and pleasant enough so to not frighten the patrons. The program was definitely not of the highest quality, but considering the stature of the OYR productions it was not surprising. The program was informative enough but not engaging or eye catching and the type was terribly small and hard to read in the dark theatre.

The first thing that catches my attention is the stage. There isn’t really a stage. Just a few risers, a few instruments packed into a dark corner, disco balls hanging from the roof and microphones. The costumes are nothing to ignore, and they definitely play a significant part in grabbing the attention of the audience.

Costumes, lighting, and most of all music are simple accompaniment to any actor, and illuminate the story. In Klezskavania is accompanied by the Plaid Tongued Devils, a klezmer rock band from Calgary, who composed the entire score for the show. The fantastic thing about the PTD’s is that they aren’t simply background music, they are the show, they are in the show, they make the show what it is. The musicians interact with the actors, the instruments become actors. It is cleverly intertwined and is a fantastic display of the arts being one in the same. The costumes were colorful, fantastical and perfectly designed for such a lively show. In many ways the costumes defined who the character was. The costumes were obscene, obscure, outrageous, an exterior reflection of the interior character.

This may be the most involving theatre experience I’ve ever enjoyed. Far too often I find myself, or even worse, someone beside me fast asleep in the middle of the performance. Not the case with this one however. The play is so bizarre and engaging that it would be impossible to fall asleep. The script, if there is one, often strays from Klezskavania to Calgary, the actors talk to the audience, the audience, or the bolder members, talk back. The actors run among the seated audience, and once, when a cell phone rang two of the cast member bounded into the audience to help the poor cell phone owner turn off their phone. Now that doesn’t happen at the formal theatres. This is an excellent example of interactive theatre, very, very well done.

In Klezskavania includes a lot of dancing and singing from the actors. Most of the story is portrayed though song and dance and brief narration. Each character is unique in his or her style of dance and song. The conversations between the characters provide the needed dynamic aspect to the characters. Words that come to mind when I think of the movement in this piece are seduction and deception. These words and themes are evident in the way the characters move, and the actors playing the characters have a deep understanding of what they want their bodies to portray.

Being that this show is based entirely around the PTD’s music, the interludes are fantastic. The changes of scene come from the music, the changes in character; every minute detail is directed to the audience via the use of the band.

The purpose of In Klezskavania is primarily to entertain the audience. Rarely can such a fantastical, unbelievable, yet, possible story be found. This type of story, while entertaining the bizarre and obscure, can be applied to ‘real life.’ I believe that the director’s vision comes across incredibly clearly, there’s not confusion as to what anything was supposed to mean, it simply reads as it is meant to be.

After attending a live performance, and I will say this time and again about every live performance I will ever see; it’s dynamic. There is no better form of entertainment than a live person on stage, giving everything they have to entertain the audience. The passion and talent that a person possesses is evident on the stage. There is no separation between the actor and the audience, as in television. Everything is real time, real skill, and real people. Nothing is more exciting than that.

Illumination

2005-05-28T11:51:00.000-06:00

I wrote this last weekend for a scholarship application for the Calgary Folk Festival. I think it's very accurate in my beliefs and I figured it was worth putting on here as well.

In 100 years I will be 118. I believe that Alberta is currently an incredibly successful province, and I hope that with the future of the oil and gas industry that same success will continue. Now on my twelfth year of school I am looking at the world with infinite possibilities at hand. The details of my future are incredibly undetermined at the current time, but I know that the foundation of my life and goals will remain the same for the rest of my life. I expect to continue volunteering, in the next few years, I wish to become involved with organizations such as AIDS Calgary and The Children’s Cottage. My experience volunteering has awarded me the realization that selfless volunteering is by far more gratifying and enjoyable than profitable employment, and that even the smallest contribution to a not-for-profit organization is appreciated.

I believe the future lies in the lives of children. Because of this I have based all of my career plans on making the world better place. I am an artistic person, and I believe the way I see the world has been heavily influenced by the artistic environment around me. However many Alberta children have not had the same luxury, and I want to work towards the development of arts education in the school system and the creation of stronger arts communities within Alberta. I want to attend university and become a teacher, and to have the ability to have an influence on the lives of the children who will one day be in the same position I find myself today. It is important to me that all children are permitted to develop the same strong foundation that I have been allowed to nurture, and when this becomes a priority for the rest of the world I will feel that we have acquired the ultimate success.

The Inquiring Journalist.

2005-05-27T12:25:00.000-06:00

I've spent over a month conducting interviews with representatives of Calgary's arts community.The likes of which, Daniel Dugas, Lylian Kimek, Danielle French, Dianne Goodman, Denise Clarke, Laura Vickerson, and Vanessa Cardui. I think that's I've not only learned a lot from my interviews, but I've also validated, or rather, the people I've interviewed have validated many of my longstanding beliefs about my involvment in the arts.

For a while I was run off my feet busy, but I am so glad that I took the approach that I did in regards to the whole course. I took the over-acheiver approach, which in the long run has paid off, however it's take a lot of work.

I'm now at the stage where i need to figure out what I'm doing with all of the interviews I've conducted. I feel like I still have a life time of figuring myself out to decide where I'm going and what I'm doing.

Imagination

2005-05-19T23:53:00.000-06:00

Imagination can't create anything new, can it? It only recycles bits and pieces from the world and reassembles them into visions. So when we think we've escaped the unberable ordinariness and, well, untruthfulness of our lives, it's really only the same old ordinariness and falseness rearranged into the appearance of novelty and truth. Nothing unknown is knowable.
-Angels In America

I've been hopelessly absent lately. Same excuse as always, I'm busy living my life, not writing about it. On the other hand, I did spend four hours tonight constructing a set for sculpture 35. Igads... that's all I have to say.

2 Pianos 4 Hands

2005-05-14T22:13:00.000-06:00

I went to see Two Piano's Four Hands at ATP a couple of days ago. It was quite interesting. I went with Brenna who had been really immersed in the whole piano scene. It was pretty cool how accurate they portrayed the various ages and how they felt about playing. I really loved the music, and how they were able to incorporate acting and piano playing at the same time. I think my favorite part was the Jerry Lee Lewis moment, where they young boy was playing around on the piano before his Julliard audition and he started playing "Great Balls of Fire" Hilarious.

On that note, I should mention that ever since I've started actually leaving the house and getting out to do stuff I feel a whole lot better about the arts community here. I used to think that it only existed on the peripheral of everyone's conscience, but really it's alive and thriving. I used to think that I would have to leave the city in order to really enjoy the culture that arts provide. This has been proven totally false in the past few months. I've been busy doing something every weekend, and I could do more if I wanted too.

That's a really good feeling.

No Time At All. At All.

2005-05-08T15:38:00.000-06:00

I have been incredibly busy the past couple of weeks. Prepare for a long entry.

So, last week, being the last week of April, the Drama society presented the spring play. This year we did two studio pieces, one is "One Hundred Women" [a long elaborate analysis of the script to come.][hopefully] by Kristina Halverson, and "Ange Gauche." Both were fabulous. Right now I am so in love with "One Hundred Women it's bordering on obsessive. Through OHW I have discovered Ruth Stone, who is a 20th Century poet. She is absoutely austounding. Though Ange Gauche I have discovered e.e. cummings. Also amazing.

I have been assimilated into the drama gang. I kind of like it there. I only wish I had found this earlier.

The past week I've been at the High School Drama Festival. Wow, again, I wish I had become involved before now. In the afternoons we would go to workshops. Mine were Playwriting with Eugene Stickland. I've never been in an educational situation with quite so many swear words and blatant drug referenced. Very entertaining I must say.
One of my other workshops was Clowning. Definately not what I was expecting, but fun and informative none the less.
My thrid, and best workshop was Page to Stage led by Kirk Miles one of the founders of One Yellow Rabbit. I was expecting a really boring, class room teacher student type of workshop, but it was exactly the opposite. First thing we did was remove the desks from the classroom. Particular moments include me standing on a chair singing opera, and then promptly falling off it, and putting on a small play with a bunch of really awesome kids I've never met before. It was definately a highlight.

I've never done anything like that before. It was thrilling and I really loved it.

I learned "When someone opens a door, go though it." and I intend to apply that to every aspect of my life.

After workshops I would go to watch the studio presentations, some of them were painful, some were excellent. Performances of note include: Pieces of Monet by Western, Midnight Rodeo by St. Francis, No One Mourns the Wicked by Queen Elizabeth, Go To Sleep by Central, Confessions of A Shopaholic by Central, and Deceptacon by E.P. Scarlett. This is more for my benifit than yours.

In the evening we would watch longer mainstage performances. My favorites of these were "Our Hearts Were Young and Gay" by Henry Wisewood, "The Lottery" by Bishop Carroll, "Someone Who'll Watch Over Me" by Lord Beaverbrook, "After Juliet" by Central Memorial, "The Taming of the Shrew" by E.P. Scarlett, "Thirteen Hands" by Churchill, and "The Laramie Project" by Western.

I am very tired, and not particularly relfective right now, so I think I'll end this here, and carry on at a later date.

Sometimes Love is Exactly As It Should Be

2005-05-08T15:35:00.000-06:00

[Or something to that effect]

2005-05-08T15:32:00.000-06:00

Copper Spoon : Lilly [copper and brass]

2005-05-08T15:31:00.000-06:00

Self Reflective Bonsai Tree

2005-05-08T15:30:00.001-06:00

Box of Tide, the Idea was to make a pop art type of thing, with the illusion of weight.

2005-05-08T15:30:00.000-06:00

Optional Self Portrait Acrylic

2005-05-08T15:29:00.000-06:00

Regular Self Portrait Acrylic

2005-05-08T15:27:00.000-06:00

Expressive Self Portrait

Theatre Rat

2005-04-17T21:31:00.000-06:00

I don't know what exactly it was that sparked my recent interest in theatre but in the past week I've spent 6 hours at the Epcor Centre.

On Tuesday I saw Marion Bridge, the fabulous story of three sisters living in Sidney, Nova Scotia, who are dealing with the death of their mother. It was fabulous. Everything I thought was done exactly how it should have been. My only complaint, and my mother, a native Maritimer, will back me up vehemently on this one, is they should have had accents.

Regardless, It was so amazing. I was so happy to see it. It opened with the sounds of the ocean. I know what the ocean sounds like, on tapes and stuff. I had a baby's lullaby's tape of Pachbels Cannon when I was little and it had the ocean on it, sea gulls and waves and wind. I can't actually remember what it sounds like when I'm there. When I'm standing in the ocean I don't notice the sounds. Yet when I'm back in the flat prairies and I hear a seagull, or the wind, or a recording of the ocean I get all nostalgic and homesick. The whole play made me homesick. I loved it. For two hours I was there, in the Maritimes, and when it was over I wiped away tears as I stood and applauded. Not because it was sad, it was beautiful and emotional, but because it was over. The people on stage representing my family, were not going to continue the act. I don't really know what I'm getting at with this. My thoughts are getting harder to put a voice too. All I really know is that for a little bit I was back in the middle of it all and I wasn't so far away.

I went back yesterday, I blame it on the Live Rush student tickets. I wanted so badly to be back in that world again. It was just as splendid the second time around. It's not nearly as funny when you know what's coming. I was sitting much closer, third row, rather than second tier and that allowed me to get a better feeling of the acting. I could see each falter, and at the end I could see the relief and some sadness, but mostly pride on the faces of the cast as we all stood and showed them our appreciation.

That is essentially what I love about theatre. There are people on a stage, which is incontestably the most raw form of entertainment. They are human and they make mistakes, they feed off our laugher and our sighs, and they put all of their strength into being a different person and making us believe, and believing themselves, they are that character. It's a cycle of energy, and now I just sound like a raving new age hippy or something, but that's how I feel.

Today, I had guitar lessons, which I refuse to discuss further than to say, I need to practice more.

Afterwards I went to In Klezskavania a play put on by One Yellow Rabbit. It was fantastic. Totally thrilling. It was advertised as the "Gothic Gypsy Rock Opera," which it was and more. Definitely not appropriate for all audiences, however, the Plaid Tongued Devils were fantastic, and the cast was totally on the ball. I had never experienced interactive theatre quite like that before. Definitely an event to be had. The costumes and characters and music were inspiring, as was the venue, The Big Secret Theatre. Can we say gothic dungeon? I think we can. Absolutely made my day.

And more on making my day; I spent the better part of yesterday evening tracking down the contact info for a menagerie of Calgary artist, in search of participants for my interviews. Among the list of accosted are Laura Vickerson and the person in charge of press for Alberta Theatre Projects. So far I have received a reply from Laura Vickerson, which understandably completely and totally validates what I am doing. Tomorrow I will move on to the theatre side of my interviews, I am contemplating having a different set of questions for the theatre because they really don't create worksof art single handedly, but I think I can adapt my existing questions to be more performance oriented. I am having a lot of fun with this.

My friend Bronwyn, age 13, asked me the other night if I would design the set for her summer drama production. I said yes without a moments hesitation.

I am having a really excellent time.

Syn·er·gy

2005-03-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

I figured that I should jot something down while things are still fresh in my mind. I seem to be a sponge lately. There can never be enough music to soak me. Tonight I went to an Alberta Sessions concert. It was pretty amazing. I'm learning more and more about myself the more frequently I leave the house.

I am The Fates fan club. Maybe I should start a website and follow them all around theh greater southern Alberta. Or maybe not. Regardless I think they are fasciinating.

On people: They can either make or break the concert experience. I'm finding that I like to go out to listen to live music because the company is half the experience. People can get so excited and the atmosphere thrives and grows into invisible balls of energy. HHowever, lately, the venues I have been going to seem to attract the arrogant sophistication of older, more judgemental people. I don't understand, why someone would buy a ticket to support an artist, or in tonight's case, artists, who are going out everynight and promoting grassroots music. They are standing on the stage saying that despite the cold, and the poor political system, and the hard manner of Alberta, they are proud to be part of us. That is something we should, as a community, value.

I'm sick of the eat your young mentality that we feel we need to assume.

I've also been thinking quite a bit about why I want to take this Professional Development course. I've been finding it harder and harder lately to put in the effort. Today my art teacher gave me no fewer than three future prospects in the arts. Is this her subtle way of telling me that maybe I shouldn't abandon a career in the arts?

At the concert tonight I was trying to pinpoint exactly what my favorite type of art is. I can't. There's no way at all. However, i'd have to say I'm leaning a bit towards the music end of things. Not as a career, but in that, I get more out of listeninig to muisic, than I do from any other form of art. But you know, iit's all the same. It starts with inspiration, hard work, some skill, a bit of luck, the right materials, and you get a song, a play, a painting. I bet that I could start with the same inspiation and produce a song, a play, and a painting or sculpture. I had to look up the definition of art cause it's getting difficult to pin point where it starts and where it stops. Even websters couldn't give me iit in black and white.

And so you see why I have such great difficulty commiting to being a "visual artist" when they are all the same. The finished product means very little to me, it's the execution and how it makes me feel.

Mackers.

2005-02-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

I've expanded my theatre experiance in the past little while. On wednesday I went with the English 20 classes to see Theatre Calgary's production of Mcbeth. I had a great internal debate over attending. For on one hand, I love seeing performances, be it thatre, movies, music, art. I always come away from them feeling differently than when I went in. That is a good thing, it's just get out and going. I don't usually have the motivation.

I adored the play. Afterwards I was so thrilled that I attended, and I didn't just let it play out without seeing it. The performaces, the actors, the script, I really enjoyed. I don't particularly enjoy Mcbeth, as a rule I find it rather annoying. I do however like Shakespere, and I now have a greater appreciation for the play Mcbeth.

I was particularly impressed with the set. Every time I go to a theatre production I'm always amazed with the set. This was impressive, large slanting columns, chandeleirs. It was simple, effective, and impressive.

Today, being Monday a few days after the play, Caroline Cave, who played Lady Mcbeth was in the school theatre talking about acting, and being a part of the production. I was so captivated by how passionate she was about no only acting, but about being there talking to us. She was totally present. When I see that quality in people who speak of their occupation I become just as entralled with it as they are. I think, "hey I could do that!" usually that feeling doesn't last past a few days. Today I'm having a particulary intuitive day. I realized while leaving the theatre that it's not their work that I am so charmed by, but rather the passion.

I often feel that I have so many different, and very diverse interestes that I can never invest all of myself into one finite thing. I don't know if I could ever be so intense and passionate, simply beacause I spread myself between so many different things, and maybe that's what growing up is all about, and maybe I think about this far more than most teenagers, but when I can get involved withsomething and be completely passionate and intense about it, that is when I will be okay with everything.

Oh man, I'm really going off on tangents lately.

point being, Mcbeth, Acting, theatre and getting out of the house.
In the future, near future, I plan to see West Side Story and Marion Bridge at ATP. I've also been taking in a lot of live music lately. I saw Mae Moore & Lester Quitzau a week or so ago. I never cease to be amazed at their talent. This upcoming saturday I'm going to see the Fates and Rutie Foster at the Nic. I'm quite excited.

I think this pretty much wraps it up.

Epiphany

2005-02-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been extremely reflective, which I suppose does not explain the silence of late. After the semester changed I needed to slow down, I had previously been so busy that I kind of got out of touch with everything. I dove right back into my part time job at the art store, weither or not I like it is still up for debate. I don't see it lasting very long, but temporarily I think I like it. I'm realizing that I know nothing when it comes to supplies, which is kind of depressing. I'm also not as interested, or entralled with the art world as I once was, and I kind of wonder when that changed.

While the drama surrounding my job continues I've learned that I love teaching and I love doing my own thing. Going off and doing something and coming away from it being proud or impressed.

I recieved my diploma exam results on family day. My marks were about as good at the could have ever been. I worked so hard for so long for those marks, and to have them reflect my word was incredibly satisfying. So I've come to the conclusion that while I'm taking my year off I need to upgrade my courses in order to go to University. I am at the point right now, where I believe that if I do anything less than I am capapble of, because I am lazy, or I simply can't be bothered would end up completely devastating to me. I know what I am capable of, I know that I can be whatever I decide, I can take care of myself. Knowing this is the most powerful and liberating notion I have thus far experienced.

This entry is becoming far more introspective than I intended.

To summ up, I am going to do everything with my entire being and energy and emotion behind me and I am going to strive to improve and the surprise myself and be totally connected with every action, choice and feeling I express.

Ode to Employment

2005-02-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I started my job at the art store tonight. It was quite cool. My new employer is the polar opposite from my old one. Also, I've come to realize I KNOW NOTHING. Seriously, I know NOTHING. But here's hoping that will change. I think it will be good, for a while at least.

Invested

2005-02-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

I am having wonderful break throughs. On one hand it's really nice working alone and having my own space and creating my own stuff, but on the other it's nice to have input as well.

I feel myself improving. The more and harder I work the more the result is closer to what I had envisioned. Anyway. I'm working really hard on my sculpture course and I'm so pumped for it.

I think if you're emotionally invested in something it's going to be above and beyond the value and quality of something that is not cared about.

Summation.

2005-01-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

Well semester one is officially over. Semester two starts tomorrow. What a long strange trip it's been? Yes. I can't hardly believe that I only have one semester of school left. I fully intend to milk it for all it's worth. Milking will be much less like pulling teeth due to the fact that this semester I actually want to learn. Strange how a little perspective changes things.
So the plan to milk the art? I will keep ON TOP of it, not far behind it like last semester. No more excuses that I'm too busy. I think the Advanced Sulpture will probably one of the most benifical classes I'll ever take. I'm quite excited because I get to design all of my own projects.
Anyway, here's to second semester!

Koi

2005-01-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

"Subtractive Sculpture" Yeah, I'm not too pleased with the fact that it's not exactly subtractive as it is additive. Oh well... I like it, I'm very pleased with how the texture and implied movement worked out.

Man on the Edge

2005-01-09T01:14:00.000-07:00

This is the "found object" sculpture I've been slaving over. I'm not sure what I think of it yet. Technically it was really difficult to construct, visually it's hard to look at all at once. I don't know what I'm getting at with it. I have a tendancy to turn found object into mixed media, which I've done, once again. Forgive me.

Also part of the found object. This is a little wire man.

Shadow

2005-01-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

I am Very Tired of Swimming About Here, O Mouse, 1998, Abelardo Morell

I was researching for my critique on Tuesday and I found some rather fascinating stuff on Giacometti. I particularly like the walking figure. Everything that is implied by such simple forms is very clever. I would like to try this sometime.

I realized that it would be so cool to use 3D figures to create 2D images.

I remembered seeing the pipe cleaner sculpture of Jean Cocteau's this summer, where there was the sculpture spinning with lights coming from different angles and making shadows on the walls. I also remembered seeing some photographs by Abelardo Morrell of Alice in Wonderland. Using two dimensional figures to cast shadows in photographs. I'd really like to explore this further. Perhaps in the new semester I'll be able to do more work on pieces for my portfolio, and include this

Rodin

2005-01-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, being two Thursdays ago, I went to see the Rodin exhibit. Wow. I was so thrilled with it. I got all into the gallery experience, thinking really hard about all of the pieces. The picture above is my favorite, it's titled Eve.

I always feel self-conscious when I talk about art, how it makes me feel, and what I see in it. I'm always thinking that if I tell people how I feel about a particular piece then they automatically know so much about me, and I don't want them to know any of it. This is the neurotic in my talking.

Overall the exhibit was fascinating. I should go to more of these. I also particularly like the sculpture "Ovid's Metamorphosis, more for the political reasons rather than the actual composition of the piece. It was a sculpture of two women kissing, the card beside it said that lesbianism was a popular subject, but it was never directly approached so Rodin added a tail to one of the women making her a mythical creature.
Interesting.

I could probably go on about how I feel about that, et all, but I'm trying to avoid the politics, and of course, "people will know who I am, if I talk about how I feel." I can feel hidden within my art.

Resolutions in the spirit of the new year:

2005-01-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

Take my camera with me everywhere, take one photo a day every day. Document the next year in photos.
Contiune to post many many entries, however, more reflection, less of the rambling.

I'm not a big fan of the whole resolution thing. I figure if I manage to document all of next week I'll be doing good.

Warhol

2004-12-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

I think these are like... modern day Warhol, because we all know how much I love Warhol.

Guilt tastes like lead water.

2004-12-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

I really should be doing art. I've been really not into it lately. I guess I have what some would call artist's block. It's not that I don't know what to do, it's just that I don't feel like doing it. This is really strange for me. Holiday's make me lethargic. I need to buy primer. I figured I might as well try to spackel the cracks in my clay. Strange, yes. Does juggling count as an art form?

And in the continuing saga of: What Will Karyn do with Her Life: (get ready, this is the best plan yet!)

I'm going to be a teacher.

So far that's the most logical choice. I think i've always wanted to be a teacher, it just kind of got stiffled duing highschool. and I think I know why. The past few years I've been ready to be more on the (self)teaching side rather than the student side.

This still means I want to take a year off, upgrade some classes, do some exploring, grow up a bit - but not too much - and then I can be a teacher.

Man-in-the-Moon

2004-12-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

He told me to look at my hand, for a part of it came from a star that
exploded too long ago to imagine. This part of me was formed from a tongue of fire that screamed through the heaves until there was out sun. And this part of me - this tuny part of me - was on the sun when it itself exploded and whirled in a great strom until the planets came to be.

And this small part of me was then a whisper of the earth. When there was life, perhaps this part of me got lost in a fern that was crushed and covered until it was coal. And then it was a diamond millions of years later - it must have been a diamond as beautiful as the star from which it had first come.

Or perhapse this part of me became lost in a terrible beast,
or become part of a huge bird that flew above the primeval swamps.

And he said that this thing was so small - this part of me was so
small it couldn't be seen - but it was there from the beginning of the
world.

And he called this bit of me an atom. And when he wrote the word,
I fell in love with it.
Atom.
Atom.
What a beautiful word.

~Tillie ~ The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds ~ Paul Zindel

Recoil

2004-12-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

"To all the people out there tonight,
who are comforting themselves,
if you should happen to see my light,
you can stop and ring my bell,
i'm just sittin here in this sty,
strewn with half written song,
staking one breath at a time." ~Ani Difranco - Knuckle Down - Recoil - 2005

This song has been stuck in my head for the better part of the year, and I've just recently learned what it was. I fugred it was worth posting because of the huge artistic imact Ani Difranco has had on my life over the past few years.

Chaos

2004-12-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, so much has happened in the past couple of week I feel as if I'm a different person. I haven't been able to update for a while due to drama commitments. The whole drama production was amazing. It always completely amazes me that a group of kids normally devoted to chaos can put on a performance of that magnitude and have everything run smoothly.

So the second last week in November was the Drama Production week. The previous Monday I had attended one of the dress rehearsals and I thought it was all quite marvelous. It was clear though, that by the end of the following week I'd be sick to death of Christmas tunes. The week before I got the programs printed, and I got fairly good feedback from everyone. Marina said in her opening night card "If I tried to spend four hours at a computer trying to make a bloody program, I'd lose my mind!" I thought that was funny, because I probably spent over four hours on the program, and I wouldn't ever have the ability to do what she does.

I spent a great amount of time in the Drama pit. I found that it was a lot nicer place to be this year rather than last year. I think it felt less like a private initiation membership super exclusive club this year. Which made things a lot easier to deal with. Everyone was also a lot more friendly, and I wish that it had been like that when I first got involved with Drama Society.

The program printing went extremely well. No hang-ups at all this time! I'm getting good at this. The key is to ignore everything Mr. Burnette says and do things the way you know how to do them. Which sounds a bit mean, but really every time he comes over and says "Ya know..." and I just know that he's going to fiddle with something and cause a mini explosion or minor catastrophe. It only took me two years to catch on but I think I've got it!

I guess I should give some in-put into how I feel about being the Front of House crew leader. IT WAS AWESOME! I had so much fun. I learned a lot too. I now know that I'm very, very good at solving practical problems, particularly scheduling, and problems with the caretakers.

When Tuesday and the first matinee came around I was so excited. Everything went quite well. I was out in the hallway frantically trying to keep up with actual school work. On Wednesday I was in the theatre, the whole idea of all the little things that go into the production of the show completely fascinates me. My crew for the most part was awesome. For the two marinee they were amazing, not so much on Friday night.

Thursday is always the most fun. After school we made up a bunch of signs for the bake sale. Then Brenna Erin and I had dinner, then returned the the school to run around frantically until the show started. On opening night we always exchange cards saying Break A Leg! and other nice things. It's always chaos in the pit, because everyone is running around trying to get all of their cards passed out and yelling like crazy. It's super fun though. This year I ended up handing out all of the cards for my front of house people from everyone else. (I didn't do such a good job of that and they are mostly sitting on my floor now.)

Opening night was the most phenomenal occurance of catastrophe I've ever seen. First, I was standing at the top of the theatre after we had opened and one of the girls on my crew came running up to me saying the caretaker wants to speak to me. By speak to me, he meant yell at me about taping the locks on the bathroom doors so that they stay open. Apparently despite the fact that we've done this twice a year for as long as anyone can remember, it was not something we were allowed to do. So while speaking at a very loud volume and repeating that we are very very bad several times I managed to quiet him down and let him know that we had permission, and that it would be happening again the next night. So I leave and return to the theatre. No sooner do I get the 10 minute que from Elissa do I see one of my doorguards running off down the hallway. Apparently the caretaker decided to send one of them to the front door of the school to direct people to the theatre. So I had to chase after her, and tell her that we would fix the problem for tomorrow, but in the mean time we'll ignore it.

So we get nicely back into the theatre and Elissa gives me the five minute que. Stephen, who was waiting at a different door for the Superintendent of the school board. Apparently he hadn't shown up yet. So he runs back. I look to Elissa, three minutes. I send one of the kids to go fetch Stephen and give up on Dr. Kroskery. As it turns out he never showed up.

Once we successfully got the play underway I was in the hallway setting up for the bakesale. Nobody mentioned that the lock on Mr. Jobb's door was particularly tricky. I spent nearly ten minutes trying to get it open to get at the cookies. So once I get in we set everything up, and everything continues to go smoothly. The bakesale was a huge success! I was quite surprised, but really, who can say no to six cookies for a dollar?

Friday night went quite smoothly. Becky came with me, which was marvelous. We put up arrows from each door to the theatre, with the expert help of the nosy caretaker of course. The guy is really trying my patience. Everything went extremely well. The only bad thing was that about six of my 12 crew members didn't show up. One showed up at seven, and two other showed up at 7:20, it was all I could do not to send those two home. I just rolled my eyes and told them to sit down.

I had a really great crew of people to work with. They were for the most part very responsible people. I hope that I see many of them on the crew next semester! Ms. Smyth was as usual the most helpful human being on the planet. Without her nothing could have happened, and as Marina said at the end of the night, "If you meet this woman it's impossible to come away from that meeting unaffected by her complete unselfishness and generosity." That is 100% true.

It's kind of sad that all of the drama stuff is over with for another semester. It's hard to believe that I'll only be involved in one more production! Doing everything that I've done this semester continually makes me very glad that I returned to Crescent.

Now I can get on to other projects, such as my Sculpture class which has taken a back seat to all of the drama madness.

I've been keeping track of all of the time I've put into "art" since September, and so far, as of today I have 84 hours.

Profile

2004-12-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

Teenage lifestyle

2004-11-26T01:21:00.000-07:00

Larger update later. But for now, the plan is to go immediately to bed, sleep as long as humanly possible, shower, then get as much work done as is possible. Sounds good,Yes?

Also, I think I'm getting those valuble teenage experiances adults talks about with starryy eyes.

Dramatics

2004-11-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

Click.

2004-11-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in two weeks. Things have been really busy with the upcoming drama performaces. I printed the posters, which look awesome and are now hanging all around the school. For the first time since I started doing all of the commtech stuff for drama there wasn't any screw ups. Last week I ran the program, which means, yes, I finally decided on a graphic. I think it fits well. It's really hard to say christmas without being cliche. I'll put up pictures just as soon as I can get the scanner to work.

This week the sculpture of the head that I made was fired. Nothing bad happened to it! Yay! I am still not sure how I'm going to paint it, but I'm sure it will be cool. I was originally going to paint it purple, but I paint everything purple and so maybe I won't.

ACAD is having a competition/show for highschool kids. I'm going to try to get my act together and submit some pieces for that. The first prize is free tuition for four years. Either way actually being part of the show couldn't be a bad thing.

Hard to Feel

2004-11-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

"I have spent many days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung."
- Rabindranath Tagore

I read this in one of my mothers "womens magazines" while the rest of my family was eating dinner at our cluttered kitchen table. This quote hits the mark dead on, this is how I feel about every aspect of my life. This is really really hard to feel. I have no idea what i'm doing anymore, what's important to me, who I am. I don't feel like I have an identity, because my indentity is based on my intrests and lately all my inrerests have become work.

2004-11-06T22:14:00.000-07:00

Concept Sketch - Studio Three

2004-11-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

I need to make my life anti-stress. I don't know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual date. I probably couldn't tell you the month either.

I am getting things out of the way however, Mamady Keita work shop is this weekend. I am exicted but also nervous and anxious because this guy is AMAZING.

Self-Eveident Truths:

2004-11-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

I feel disoriented.
I am busy.
I am not articulate.
I am a little pannicked.
I do not have any clean pants.
The Shins CD Oh, Inverted World is awesome.
I need a lot of words.
I am maybe making a friend.
Maybe two.
Words are difficult.
The right ones, the right order.

I am exhausted right now.

Lost Productivity

2004-11-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm really into this "art" thing. I've been thinking and dreaming art all weekend. It's fabulous. Eventually there will be hard evidence of this.

I'm also trying to get past the thoughts of quitting my job just so I can have every night free to work on my stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in Canada!(If you're not in canada, happy monday!)

Sculpture in the Round

2004-10-31T19:18:00.001-07:00

INCUBATOR

2004-10-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

The big lightbulb says "INCUBATE BENEATH GORGEOUS ESSENTIAL LIGHT"

Portrait

2004-10-31T17:35:00.000-07:00

"Use of an Armature" I swear I did use an armature at one point. I don't have any pictures though. So now this is drying in front of our fire place and I keep checking it every 15 minutes to assure that it hasn't done anything terrible. I made my grandmother rub it's head for good luck. It's all smooth. So as soon as it's dried and fired I'm going to paint it.

Emotionless #1

2004-10-30T23:59:00.000-06:00

Self Portrait #3, Emotionless. Jean Cocteau inspired.

Emotionless #2

2004-10-30T23:58:00.000-06:00

Self Portriat #2 Emotionless, Jean Cocteau inspired.

Emotionless #3

2004-10-30T23:57:00.000-06:00

Self Portrait #1 Emotionless. Inspired by Jean Cocteau.

Motor Neuron

2004-10-30T23:56:00.000-06:00

This is a science project I had. Originally we were just supposed to draw a Motor Neuron and label it. I coloured it and I think it looks really cool, plus it's pretty much all I remember from the Bio unit.

Girl Walking Backwards

2004-10-30T23:55:00.000-06:00

Drawing. Both this and the previous drawings are done based on photographs of models in NYLON magazine.

Model

2004-10-30T23:53:00.001-06:00

Portrait Plan

2004-10-30T23:53:00.000-06:00

This is what I've been working on. A Jean Cocteau inspired amature related human head. It's made out of clay and really looks very little like the pictures here.

I'm in the industry.

2004-10-30T22:45:00.000-06:00

Today I was saying that I'll probably not have a career in the arts. I said that there's no way that I could make money off of it. Now that I've been thinking about it for most of the day I've realized that I could totally make money from it.

Option #1: Graphic Design.
Option #2: Advertizing.
Option #3: Art Director for entertainment industry.
Option #4: Photographer, specifically photojournalist.

So I have four very plausable options for future careers. It's quite possible that I could end up doing any number of arts related things in the future.

For example the Metric concert that I went to a few weeks ago. Someone designed the whole appearance of the band. I could do that. Someone designed the t-shirts. Someone else made them. Same with all of the merch. Someone designed the album cover.

It's amazing really. I could ultimately end up working in the music industry as a visual artist. At the Western Canadian Music Awards I was exposed to so many different forms of art, specifically in the music industry. Song writing, playing instruments, promotion, designs for every possible purpose. And there are magazines. Who says I can't take photographs for a living?

Everything about those two events has caused me to think about things in different ways. Especially the things that inspire me, and the things that make me happy. Art, and music.

I was telling my mother today that art and astetics are second nature to me. I've been making art since I was old enough to hold a crayon, and it would be a terrible thing if I didn't pursue it in some form.

So the plan; get out, get inspired.

Ducks

2004-10-27T13:34:00.000-06:00

I am having trouble keeping all of my ducks in a row. As you may have noticed there hasn't been much action on this poor little art blog. There will be though. I'm determined.

Hardcore.

2004-10-23T17:02:00.000-06:00

I spent literally an hour and a half making this stencil of my cousins face. She's very inspiring, and that's what you get when you are inspiring. Your face on somebody's t-shirt.

Point being, I'm tired.

2004-10-20T17:12:00.000-06:00

I have such a back log of amazing ideas that I can use for my portfolio, however I have no time to actually carry out any of these ideas.

I am exhausted. I spent four hours on Monday, one hour yesterday and three hours today studying for a social unit final. I feel confident. It would be nice if all that work actually pays off though. I could probably tell you anything you ever wanted to know about 20th Century economics.

I love Metric. I think I might start designing shirts for all of my favorite songs. Even if I never make them it would still be fun. Like back in elementary school music class when the teacher played different styles of music and we had to scribble along to the music. Now thats an education.

Revelation #1

2004-10-17T01:22:00.000-06:00

I realized a few days ago that I've been telling everyone who asks that my favorite type of sculpture is "found object." While in fact I hate found object, I actually like Mixed Media.

Strange.

the beginnings of something

2004-10-13T23:59:00.000-06:00

The library has so many books. I have managed to find books on Jean Cocteau. Some of his work is quite amazing. One of the books, Jean Cocteau and his World by Arthur King Peters, details his life chronologically.

I find it amazing how much he created. He drew some amazing self portraits. So far my favorites are the ones I saw this summer at the gallery in Montreal, the ones with the outlines of his face and hair and shoulders but no facial features. They were simple line drawings but they said a lot about emotions, or the lack thereof. A lot of his self portrait and drawings are very simplistic, but not at all boring. I think there's an element of cubism or Picasso like qualities in a lot of his work. I'm sure he was going for the obscure image.

I am also really fascinated by Seymour Lipton. I found his book at the school library a few days ago while I was doing research for one of my art projects. I haven't figured out yet what I like about his sculptures, but I like nearly all of them. They are very geometric, and typically I like the sheet metal medium. I like comparing the work to the title he has given them. It's amazing how much a hunk of metal can make sense when it is given the title "Jungle Bloom" or "Study for sanctuary."

Looking at his concept drawings gave me some excellent ideas for stained glass projects. I have so many excellent ideas for projects. It's really too bad that none of them qualify for my Advanced Techniques Scuplture 25 class. I suppose that's okay though. Usually my best projects are just things I make in my spare time that don't have any restrictions.

Rush

2004-10-12T01:20:00.001-06:00

Every time I go to the library I get a pocketfull of ideas, I bring home an arm load of books and then stay up all night reading. I really want to play around on a potters wheel again. I want to get started on all of my ideas. I need to buy a notebook and pencils and go on holiday with my family this weekend, and quit failing important tests.

This rush of ideas certainly makes up for the past three month hiatus my mind took. I've got the artsy part back on course, now if only I could do something about that silly academic bit.

I want to play my guitar.

2004-10-11T17:49:00.000-06:00

The Objective

2004-10-08T23:40:00.000-06:00

As part of the course outlined below, I have to keep a journal. Voilla! The course will give me a Fine Arts Diploma, as long as I keep a journal, write an essay, do a few interviews, put together a portfolio, and get 120 hours of art related work.
It's a good deal I think. It will keep me busy.

Professional Development in the Arts 35 allows students to purposefully reflect upon learning experiences in the Fine Arts disciplines as well as explore the possibilities of process involved in preparing for the marketing and business aspect of being a professional artist in art, music, drama, dance or design. It is designed to address the skills needed in the preparation of an audition portfolio, as well as the personal skills required to enroll in post-secondary programs or production work. This will include resume building, audition and video work, the exploration o the professional associations of the various performing arts, and styles of portfolios that are unique to Fine and Performing Arts.

2004-10-08T17:22:00.000-06:00

Infamous first post.